dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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