Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
