I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
