I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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