She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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