I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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