All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
