I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
