Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I need moral support for this bender
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
