Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
