umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
