If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
and you fell through a lawn chair
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
