and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
