so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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