marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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