in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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