return my video game
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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