fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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