would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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