i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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