Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
