should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
