Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
