As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
