You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
