did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
