That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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