i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
