Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
