I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
