Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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