so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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