just tell him i said nine months
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
