His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
