ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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