Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
