dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
