P.S. I can't hear my feet
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize