So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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