What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
