you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
