I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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