I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
