I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
