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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Because men are children

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Touche

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg

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• (415): View more from California

  The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.

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• (567): View more from Ohio

  If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra

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• (716): View more from New York

  I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!

  Fav 4 87 5

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