So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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