You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
