i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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