The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
