He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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