I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
