I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
