yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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