I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
