And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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