his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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