I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
soo... how was my night?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
