let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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