No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
