i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
nutella sex= disaster
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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