I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
